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  • Content
  • Past Issues
    • How to Get a Copy of the Magazine
  • About
    • Who are we?
    • Well, we’re not CU Nooz
    • Our Readers
    • Write for us!
  • Advertise
  • Donate
  • Follow Us!
  • Merch
Content, Featured

Cornell Announces Plans to Reopen Campus to 150% Capacity

Cornell administration announced their reopening plans for the Fall 2020 semester some of which have raised eyebrows among students, parents, and faculty. While other universities within the Ivy League are…

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July 14, 2020
Content, Featured

The Testaments CLEARLY Predict The Closing Of Cornell in March 2020

REPENT, sinners/business majors, for the END TIMES are upon us! With the cancellation of classes last Friday, ALL SIGNS pointing to the END OF DAYS have been met. One must…

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March 18, 2020
Content, Featured

Stop Fiend! I Order You to Read our Spring 2020 Issue at Once!

Bored of your tiny mind in quarantine or just need some kindling to light that totally legal bonfire? Check out our latest issue by clicking on the image below!

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July 1, 2020
Spring 2020 Issue
Spring 2020 Issue
Fall 2019 Issue
Fall 2019 Issue
Spring 2019 Issue
Spring 2019 Issue
  • Students Suggest “Cornexit” in Succession of Successful Secession

    April 2, 2019 /
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  • Day Trading: A Space Opera

    March 28, 2019 /
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  • How To Get Over Your Fear of Having Sex With Fruit

    March 11, 2019 /
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  • Will This Kill Me?: A Guide to Pipe Safety

    March 9, 2019 /
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  • Daddy Issues

    March 4, 2019 /
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  • Can we keep dogs alive forever?

    February 24, 2019 /
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  • 6 Cool Animals to Spot Around Campus

    February 17, 2019 /
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  • Why I don’t need love this week because of Indie Rock

    February 13, 2019 /
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  • The Ultimate Foolproof Guide for Getting Laid

    February 13, 2019 /
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  • Writing for the Cornell Lunatic is the New Punk Rock

    February 11, 2019 /
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Recent Posts

  • Cornell Announces Plans to Reopen Campus to 150% Capacity
  • Stop Fiend! I Order You to Read our Spring 2020 Issue at Once!
  • The Testaments CLEARLY Predict The Closing Of Cornell in March 2020
  • How to Ditch Your Hookup: A Comprehensive Guide
  • Op-Ed: When is The Student Assembly Finally Going to Vote on Whether There is a Difference Between Making Holocaust Jokes and Just Literally Being Hitler?
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