By the Ghost of Adam Smith Disclaimer: I have no clue what day trading actually is, but it sounds illegal so I’ll run with it. Sorry, people who care about…

Want to seem cultured and intelligent? Be seen reading our New Yorker issue! Click on the cover to find all about the important issues.

In light of the overwhelming success of the Brexit movement, Cornell students have started a petition to secede from Ithaca. “Ithaca threatens Cornell’s sovereignty,” said Morris Johnson, a stupid freshman.…