Inside the Mind of the Great American Frat Bro

I’m fiscally conservative. But I listen to Kendrick Lamar and shit and I totally understand the black experience and I get it man ya know.

You guys wanna get pitchers after this?

I signed up for this philosophy class cause I thought it would be a good way to meet chicks. Didn’t think I’d be into the whole intellectual thing but turns out it’s actually pretty sick. The professor’s like this old dude with a beard. The shit he says is super like heady. I bet he slays.

Yo Albert Einstein was a fucking savage. Mozart too honestly.

Harriet Tubman wasn’t even that hot.

So I was railing this chick raw dog last night. And uh… yeah man… so what was I saying? Oh yeah, I was having sex with this female. And uhh… yeah… like when I was piping her I realized it just felt like really good to be that close with another person ya know?

Honestly fuck racism, man. That shit’s whack. Our house isn’t like a stereotypical racist frat. We have a couple black guys. We’re like super diverse and inclusive.

I’ll wreck you in 2k right now.

No thanks, I don’t smoke weed. Got any xans?

Zachary Mandell ’18