As I roam the campus this week, I’m bound to see a ton of couples walking together, enjoying each other’s company. Many will feel the love in the air as people from different walks of life try and find someone with whom they can relate. Someone to hold. Someone to appreciate. And truth be told, I feel it as well.
And I’m fucking tired of it.
There is so much weight placed on having a “squeeze” at this time of the year but I never really understood it. People will fail you time and time again, but you know what stays forever? Indie music. The soft, obscure tones of someone who should definitely see a therapist are the only solace I need on this day. People spend all this money on gifts on something that can be eaten or destroyed when artists like Lucy Dacus and Mitski will keep me at a sufficient level of sad until the day I die… or my girlfriend takes me back.
I’ll lay on my bed alone this Thursday, content, knowing that my music taste will carry me forever. As I scroll through my playlist, ensuring that every artist has fewer than 100K listeners, I will remember how the cool kids in high school bullied me for thinking a band called Japanese Breakfast is any good (which they are go listen to them). Those same people are probably in “loving” and “healthy” relationships but what the indie community and I have is unshakeable. So unshakeable, in fact, that my last girlfriend broke up with me because she couldn’t understand me. She couldn’t possibly understand how my superior taste in music was more important than our relationship.
So what if I maybe kind of miss her.
So what if she was the best thing that ever happened to me.
So what if I drown myself in noise music all the time to keep my own thoughts at bay.
As long as I have my overpriced headphones, Spotify, and r/indieheads open, I am unstoppable (Lucy, if you’re reading this I’m sorry). I don’t need anyone at all to hold me down this Valentine’s Day (Baby, please take me back). So maybe if you’re alone this week, you’ll come to your senses and come to my Car Seat Headrest listening party on Thursday (Please I’m sorry it was a one-time thing I didn’t think you’d find out).
– Sam Karunwi ‘22