- The quickest way to get to the airport is by plane
- Cell phones were actually invented in 1931 and old people are just really good at keeping secrets
- Staring at the sun between classes is a good way to remove the stress from your eyeballs
- Floss is for suckers
- Grades aren’t real. If you believe in grades you might as well believe in equality
- Eating alone is a power move that shows you take risks
- Networking is like masturbating with your personality
- Everyone loves fireworks
- Buy one get one free is a binding legal contract
- Every knife is a throwing knife if you don’t mind getting it dirty
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