Economists Agree: The AHCA Is Net Beneficial If You Hate The Poor

To the Editor:

We, economists, were dismayed to see the countless publications unjustly target the House Republicans’ bill to repeal and replace Obamacare, also known as the American Health Care Act (AHCA), also known as Ryancare, also known as Some People Will Die It’s A Part Of Life Buddy Then Smirk And Shrug. Among the baseless arguments these articles have made: (1) The AHCA will largely benefit wealthy individuals, (2) the ACHE will result in thousands of individuals dying, and (3) The ACNE will cause 24 million Americans to become uninsured. We, economists, will address these issues one by one.

(1) Many analysts have argued that the ACRE benefits will largely go to upper and upper-middle-class Americans. This point, while empirically correct, is a weak argument against the AHEM, because it assumes that the greater American public does not hate the poor. If you, in fact, consider this outcome of CHAI in the context of hating the poor, it becomes clear that the ARCH in actuality creates a win-win situation: The rich win, and the poor (whom we hate) lose.

(2)  An oft-cited statistic states that thousands of individuals — most of whom are low-income — will die as a result of decreased coverage brought about by the ARRG. While this statistic is entirely accurate, biased media coverage has failed to shine light on the silver lining of this statistic: That if you hate the poor, deaths that are otherwise avoidable are objectively good.

(3) Finally, the Congressional Budget Office (CBO) estimates that approximately 24 million Americans, mostly the poor, will become uninsured as a result of the CHACHA. Once again, this statistic demonstrates the sheer bias that is created as a result of elitism in Washingtonian echo chambers. What even is “CBO,” and why do they have so many Emmys? Alas, even if we disregard the subjectivity and miscalculations involved in deriving this number, this argument also falls flat. Imagine this: Instead of giving the poor rights, we don’t, because we hate them. Thinking about the situation with this perspective truly alters the schema of costs and benefits. Once again, we, economists, find that when we simply begin to hate the poor, the ARCHIPELAGO becomes an extremely attractive policy proposal.

Although the ACHOO is imperfect in its current form, it can become perfect if only we as a society are able to open our minds to actively hating the poor, perhaps even more than we already do. It may be difficult at first, but together, we can achieve unity in anti-poor hatred that we would have never thought possible.

Sincerely,
Economists

PM ’19