I’m fiscally conservative. But I listen to Kendrick Lamar and shit, and I totally understand the black experience, and I get it, man, ya know.
You guys wanna get pitchers after this?
I signed up for this philosophy class cause I thought it would be a good way to meet chicks. Didn’t think I’d be into the whole intellectual thing, but turns out it’s actually pretty sick. The professor’s like this old dude with a beard. The shit he says is super, like, heady. I bet he slays.
Yo, Albert Einstein was a fucking savage. Mozart too, honestly.
Harriet Tubman wasn’t even that hot.
So I was railing this chick raw dog last night. And uh… yeah man… so what was I saying? Oh yeah, I was having sex with this female. And uhh… yeah… like when I was piping her, I realized it just felt like really good to be that close with another person, ya know?
Honestly, fuck racism, man. That shit’s whack. Our house isn’t like a stereotypical racist frat. We have a couple black guys. We’re like super diverse and inclusive.
I’ll wreck you in 2k right now.
No thanks, I don’t smoke weed. Got any xans?
—Zachary Mandell ’18