- The quickest way to get to the airport is by plane.
- Cell phones were actually invented in 1931 and old people are just really good at keeping secrets.
- Staring at the sun between classes is a good way to remove the stress from your eyeballs.
- Floss is for suckers.
- Grades aren’t real. If you believe in grades, you might as well believe in equality.
- Eating alone is a power move that shows you take risks.
- Networking is like masturbating with your personality.
- Everyone loves fireworks.
- Buy-one-get-one-free is a binding legal contract.
- Every knife is a throwing knife if you don’t mind getting it dirty.