Every year, dozens of Cornell students accidentally confuse the Cornell Lunatic (an actual magazine) and CU Nooz (a website). As a public service, here are 10 simple ways to tell the difference between us:
- The two institutions were not named for the same person. Our namesake (Dingo P. Lunatic) and theirs (Jacob G. Nooz) were distant cousins.
- The Lunatic can be picked up, folded, cherished, and accidentally left in a dining hall. The Nooz cannot, unless you count losing your cell phone.
- The Lunatic boasts a golden trophy. The Nooz has received several promising emails that begin, “I am a Bulgarian prince . . . ”
- The Cornell Lunatic is headquartered in the heart of Cornell University, named for Ezra Cornell, who pioneered glass insulators for telegraph wires. CU Nooz is headquartered on the internet, which Ezra Cornell knew nothing about.
- CU Nooz is based online, so we all know that will never last. The printed word, on the other hand, predates Collegetown Bagels.
- Snowy winters at the Lunatic are invigorating, inspiring, and fodder for at least a dozen pithy jokes. Winters at the Nooz are somehow breaking news every time snow falls.
- The Lunatic contains an average of 1,193 good jokes per issue, while the Nooz averages fifteen per 1,000 articles, eleven of which concern Okenshields.
- The mascot for our magazine is a moon. The Nooz has none, unless you count a screenshot of a squirrel.
- Both publications have dedicated followers. Hence the nicknames “The Good Magazine” (us) and “Overheard Spam” (them).
- Ithaca is approximately 225 miles from The Big Apple. The internet is used by criminals and terrorists. Coincidence? You decide.