{"id":257,"date":"2026-06-12T02:44:22","date_gmt":"2026-06-12T06:44:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/s1081577.instanturl.net\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp\/?p=257"},"modified":"2026-06-22T00:08:00","modified_gmt":"2026-06-22T04:08:00","slug":"top-10-things-every-college-student-should-know","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/?p=257","title":{"rendered":"Top 10 Things Every College Student Should Know"},"content":{"rendered":"
    \n
  1. The quickest way to get to the airport is by plane.<\/li>\n
  2. Cell phones were actually invented in 1931 and old people are just really good at keeping secrets.<\/li>\n
  3. Staring at the sun between classes is a good way to remove the stress from your eyeballs.<\/li>\n
  4. Floss is for suckers.<\/li>\n
  5. Grades aren\u2019t real. If you believe in grades, you might as well believe in equality.<\/li>\n
  6. Eating alone is a power move that shows you take risks.<\/li>\n
  7. Networking is like masturbating with your personality.<\/li>\n
  8. Everyone loves fireworks.<\/li>\n
  9. Buy-one-get-one-free is a binding legal contract.<\/li>\n
  10. Every knife is a throwing knife if you don\u2019t mind getting it dirty.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

     <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    <\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2333,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[22],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-257","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-content"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9Nlau-49","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":857,"url":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/?p=857","url_meta":{"origin":257,"position":0},"title":"Join the Lunatic","author":"The Cornell Lunatic","date":"February 1, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Lunatic lore has it that one night, while founder Joey Green \u201980 was lying on Libe slope and overlooking the dim twinkle of downtown Ithaca, he was abruptly confronted by a large, frightening man. \u201cGive me your wallet,\u201d the man said, as he held out a rusty kitchen knife to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Content"","block_context":{"text":"Content","link":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/?cat=22"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/staffphoto.jpg?fit=1200%2C857&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/staffphoto.jpg?fit=1200%2C857&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/staffphoto.jpg?fit=1200%2C857&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/staffphoto.jpg?fit=1200%2C857&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/staffphoto.jpg?fit=1200%2C857&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1087,"url":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/?p=1087","url_meta":{"origin":257,"position":1},"title":"Stop Judging New Moms","author":"The Cornell Lunatic","date":"November 23, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"When my pregnancy test came out positive, I was nervous despite my excitement. 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Elizabeth Warren Should Take that DNA Test Because I Want to Know If She\u2019s My Mom","author":"The Cornell Lunatic","date":"October 15, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"When President Trump suggested Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren should take a DNA test to prove her Native American heritage, I was offended and outraged.\u00a0 Upon further reflection, however, I realized that if Senator Warren were to take a DNA test, I would be able to definitively know whether or not\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Content"","block_context":{"text":"Content","link":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/?cat=22"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/Elizabeth_Warren_speaks_May_19_2014.jpg?fit=1200%2C801&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/Elizabeth_Warren_speaks_May_19_2014.jpg?fit=1200%2C801&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/Elizabeth_Warren_speaks_May_19_2014.jpg?fit=1200%2C801&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/Elizabeth_Warren_speaks_May_19_2014.jpg?fit=1200%2C801&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/Elizabeth_Warren_speaks_May_19_2014.jpg?fit=1200%2C801&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":920,"url":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/?p=920","url_meta":{"origin":257,"position":3},"title":"Student Mistakes Actual Fishbowl for \u201cFish Bowls\u201d Fishbowl","author":"The Cornell Lunatic","date":"March 15, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Court-Kay-Bauer, Ithaca, NY\u2014Freshman Bobby McBobberson \u201921 (it\u2019s always the freshmen, innit) has been found guilty of drink-eating his two goldfish, Dr. Pepper and Barnacle, a lovely couple who had only just gotten married after days of courtship which tbh they forgot every five seconds. \u201cI officiated their ceremony. I got\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Content"","block_context":{"text":"Content","link":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/?cat=22"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/Fish-Bowl.png?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/Fish-Bowl.png?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/Fish-Bowl.png?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/Fish-Bowl.png?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/Fish-Bowl.png?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1330,"url":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/?p=1330","url_meta":{"origin":257,"position":4},"title":"Oh My God, I Can\u2019t Believe You Found This Page","author":"The Cornell Lunatic","date":"November 26, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"You have been officially diagnosed with Horny Bastard Disease.\u2122 You can't really debate this tbh, I feel like the fact that you took the TIME to paste in that tinyurl is enough of an indictment of your character. 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Researchers swear they are inching closer every day and believe new technology will allow them\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Content"","block_context":{"text":"Content","link":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/?cat=22"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/fibonaccispiral.jpg?fit=535%2C338&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/fibonaccispiral.jpg?fit=535%2C338&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/fibonaccispiral.jpg?fit=535%2C338&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/The-Things-Photo.png?fit=1448%2C1086&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/257","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=257"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/257\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2334,"href":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/257\/revisions\/2334"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2333"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=257"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=257"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=257"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}