{"id":257,"date":"2026-06-12T02:44:22","date_gmt":"2026-06-12T06:44:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/s1081577.instanturl.net\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp\/?p=257"},"modified":"2026-06-22T00:08:00","modified_gmt":"2026-06-22T04:08:00","slug":"top-10-things-every-college-student-should-know","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/?p=257","title":{"rendered":"Top 10 Things Every College Student Should Know"},"content":{"rendered":"<ol>\n<li>The quickest way to get to the airport is by plane.<\/li>\n<li>Cell phones were actually invented in 1931 and old people are just really good at keeping secrets.<\/li>\n<li>Staring at the sun between classes is a good way to remove the stress from your eyeballs.<\/li>\n<li>Floss is for suckers.<\/li>\n<li>Grades aren\u2019t real. If you believe in grades, you might as well believe in equality.<\/li>\n<li>Eating alone is a power move that shows you take risks.<\/li>\n<li>Networking is like masturbating with your personality.<\/li>\n<li>Everyone loves fireworks.<\/li>\n<li>Buy-one-get-one-free is a binding legal contract.<\/li>\n<li>Every knife is a throwing knife if you don\u2019t mind getting it dirty.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<div class=\"mh-excerpt\"><p> <a class=\"mh-excerpt-more\" href=\"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/?p=257\" title=\"Top 10 Things Every College Student Should Know\"><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2333,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[22],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-257","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-content"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9Nlau-49","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":857,"url":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/?p=857","url_meta":{"origin":257,"position":0},"title":"Join the Lunatic","author":"The Cornell Lunatic","date":"February 1, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Lunatic lore has it that one night, while founder Joey Green \u201980 was lying on Libe slope and overlooking the dim twinkle of downtown Ithaca, he was abruptly confronted by a large, frightening man. \u201cGive me your wallet,\u201d the man said, as he held out a rusty kitchen knife to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Content&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Content","link":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/?cat=22"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/staffphoto.jpg?fit=1200%2C857&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/staffphoto.jpg?fit=1200%2C857&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/staffphoto.jpg?fit=1200%2C857&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/staffphoto.jpg?fit=1200%2C857&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/staffphoto.jpg?fit=1200%2C857&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":874,"url":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/?p=874","url_meta":{"origin":257,"position":1},"title":"How to Stay Healthy and Avoid the Flu","author":"The Cornell Lunatic","date":"February 21, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Make hand sanitizer your new religion. Have at least three bottles of Purell on hand at all times and get a spray bottle attachment so you can give yourself a healthy misting every few hours. If that\u2019s not enough, start taking your daily shower with hand sanitizer instead of water,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Content&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Content","link":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/?cat=22"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/doctor.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/doctor.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/doctor.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/doctor.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/doctor.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1087,"url":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/?p=1087","url_meta":{"origin":257,"position":2},"title":"Stop Judging New Moms","author":"The Cornell Lunatic","date":"November 23, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"When my pregnancy test came out positive, I was nervous despite my excitement. I dreaded telling my husband the news, and when I finally worked up the courage to, anger and disappointment swept across his face. Only when I told him that I was expecting a boy did his mood\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Content&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Content","link":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/?cat=22"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/new-mom.jpg?fit=800%2C600&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/new-mom.jpg?fit=800%2C600&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/new-mom.jpg?fit=800%2C600&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/new-mom.jpg?fit=800%2C600&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1167,"url":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/?p=1167","url_meta":{"origin":257,"position":3},"title":"Daddy Issues","author":"The Cornell Lunatic","date":"March 4, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"When I came to Cornell, I faced some unexpected challenges. I didn\u2019t expect to have any issues with the daily consumption of excess Adderall. I didn\u2019t expect I\u2019d be facing my own mortality at 10:30 p.m. after a Chem prelim when some strange force within me stopped me while crossing\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Content&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Content","link":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/?cat=22"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":194,"url":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/?p=194","url_meta":{"origin":257,"position":4},"title":"Search for a Universal Ratio","author":"The Cornell Lunatic","date":"February 15, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Scientists around campus are scrambling to try to solve a problem that has haunted Cornell for years. The mathematical concept known as \u201cThe Ratio,\u201d the key for freshman guys getting into frat parties, remains undefined. Researchers swear they are inching closer every day and believe new technology will allow them\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Content&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Content","link":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/?cat=22"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/fibonaccispiral.jpg?fit=535%2C338&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/fibonaccispiral.jpg?fit=535%2C338&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/fibonaccispiral.jpg?fit=535%2C338&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1182,"url":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/?p=1182","url_meta":{"origin":257,"position":5},"title":"How To Get Over Your Fear of Having Sex With Fruit","author":"The Cornell Lunatic","date":"June 3, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"This article should not be construed as medical advice, legal advice, or sensible advice.\u00a0 Some of you out there enjoy a nice pickle tickle. It\u2019s only natural, according to several studies I would cite if I could remember them. Having sex with food is one thing. After all, we\u2019ve all\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Content&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Content","link":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/?cat=22"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/watermelon-2806875_960_720.jpg?fit=960%2C640&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/watermelon-2806875_960_720.jpg?fit=960%2C640&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/watermelon-2806875_960_720.jpg?fit=960%2C640&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/watermelon-2806875_960_720.jpg?fit=960%2C640&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/The-Things-Photo.png?fit=1448%2C1086&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/257","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=257"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/257\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2334,"href":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/257\/revisions\/2334"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2333"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=257"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=257"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=257"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}