{"id":1132,"date":"2020-01-11T00:46:02","date_gmt":"2020-01-11T05:46:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/?p=1132"},"modified":"2026-06-20T20:54:42","modified_gmt":"2026-06-21T00:54:42","slug":"writing-cornell-lunatic-new-punk-rock","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/?p=1132","title":{"rendered":"Writing for the Cornell Lunatic Is the New Punk Rock"},"content":{"rendered":"

Yeah, we\u2019re family-unfriendly. Unethical? Unquestionably! And boy, you better believe we\u2019re inappropriate. <\/span><\/p>\n

We are the Lunatic<\/em>, and we\u2019re not ashamed to be lunatics. We are lunatics, because we don\u2019t shy away from topics that make everyone else cower in fear. We\u2019re not afraid to write about our desperate desires to be fucked by subway trains, what constitutes a head that\u2019s too round, or our favorite snacks to eat during a mass shooting. <\/span><\/p>\n

No moral authority can stop us from musing on the connection between local Ithaca eateries and Madonna\u2019s vagina, or on Young Sheldon sparking communist revolution. <\/span><\/p>\n

We aren\u2019t afraid to ask provocative questions, like \u201cShould you fuck your mom?\u201d or \u201cShould you throw a Gatorade bottle full of pee-pee at your enemies?\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n

That\u2019s what makes us subversive, and that\u2019s what makes us the most dangerous magazine at Cornell.<\/span><\/p>\n

Writing for the Cornell Lunatic<\/em> is the new punk rock. We are the rebels of this campus, unafraid to hold a mirror up to the dark corners of our society through the power of dark humor. <\/span>We will never stop publishing our tomes of pure truth and biting satire twice a year too late in the semester to be able to distribute it and have any impact. <\/span><\/p>\n

If we don\u2019t use our prescient parodies to point out the absurdity of the society we live in (and by all standards, we certainly live in one), no one else will. <\/span><\/p>\n

To write for the Lunatic<\/em> is to defend freedom itself, and we will never stop scrawling out our family-unfriendly, unethical, and inappropriate punk rock prose and sending it out into the world, for this is the last line of defense we have for free expression and punk rock in this bubble gum pop society.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2014Alec Faber \u201920<\/p>\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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You can have fun reading some slightly funny pieces while learning about God, Lucifer, and their love child: Ezra Cornell. Last semester, we raised over $10,000 dollars from alumni and other generous donors. 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No matter who you are, know that we're all judging you now!\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/Doctor.jpg?fit=1024%2C739&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/Doctor.jpg?fit=1024%2C739&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/Doctor.jpg?fit=1024%2C739&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/Doctor.jpg?fit=1024%2C739&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":846,"url":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/?p=846","url_meta":{"origin":1132,"position":2},"title":"The Lunatic Presents: A Conversation with Ron Funches","author":"The Cornell Lunatic","date":"December 21, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Most of us Cornellians enjoy telling jokes, smoking weed, and playing video games. However, rarely do we get a career performing these activities, as we will often end up selling our souls as we work on Wall Street making ridiculous amounts of money and start claiming that we are \u201csocially\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Content"","block_context":{"text":"Content","link":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/?cat=22"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/RonFunches.jpg?fit=700%2C933&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/RonFunches.jpg?fit=700%2C933&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/RonFunches.jpg?fit=700%2C933&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/RonFunches.jpg?fit=700%2C933&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":236,"url":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/?p=236","url_meta":{"origin":1132,"position":3},"title":"A Sticker for Everyone! 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What\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Content"","block_context":{"text":"Content","link":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/?cat=22"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/WTF.png?fit=576%2C213&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/WTF.png?fit=576%2C213&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/WTF.png?fit=576%2C213&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":742,"url":"https:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/?p=742","url_meta":{"origin":1132,"position":4},"title":"LL Cool J’s \u201cMama Said Knock You Out\u201d: An Analysis of Some Lyrics of this Famous \u201990s Song","author":"The Cornell Lunatic","date":"October 10, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\"Don\u2019t call it a comeback, I been here for years \/ Rocking my peers and putting suckas in fears\u201d In this rocking start to the song, LL Cool J emphasizes the fact that he is God, our Lord and Heavenly Father. 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But I listen to Kendrick Lamar and shit, and I totally understand the black experience, and I get it, man, ya know. You guys wanna get pitchers after this? 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