{"id":261,"date":"2016-02-18T02:45:56","date_gmt":"2016-02-18T02:45:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/s1081577.instanturl.net\/cornelllunatic.com\/wp\/?p=261"},"modified":"2018-03-31T14:42:43","modified_gmt":"2018-03-31T18:42:43","slug":"disgruntled-cafeteria-worker-caught-in-vegan-food-forgery","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/?p=261","title":{"rendered":"Disgruntled Cafeteria Worker Caught in Vegan Food Forgery"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><b>Ithaca, NY \u2013 <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Recent police investigations have revealed the presence of meat extract in several of the campus\u2019s allegedly vegan dishes. \u00a0While initial research suggested the extract was a result of confusion in the kitchen, an anonymous tipster has come forth with new information detailing the massive coup staged by one unhappy cafeteria staff member. \u00a0According to the new information, more than 20 middle-aged cafeteria staff members were involved in this violation of principle for the more than seventeen vegans on\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>According to the report, the disgruntled worker was motivated by a particularly rude student\u2019s passing remark of her being a \u201cbasic bitch.\u201d \u00a0The worker then assembled a task force of equally unhappy workers, and together they began to add small amounts of chicken extract to many of the vegan dishes served. \u00a0An unnamed member of the task force remarked \u201cIt was something to do, and it gave me great satisfaction to know that somewhere, a vegan was, in fact, consuming a small amount of meat<\/p>\n<p>It is unknown whether the university will be pursuing action against the staff members involved at this point. \u00a0According to one of the lawyers involved in considering the matter, the lawsuit \u201cis it risk of being thrown out immediately due to the difficulty involved in creating a respectable name for the suit.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ithaca, NY \u2013 Recent police investigations have revealed the presence of meat extract in several of the campus\u2019s allegedly vegan dishes. \u00a0While initial research suggested the extract was a result of confusion in the kitchen, an anonymous tipster has come forth with new information detailing the massive coup staged by one unhappy cafeteria staff member. \u00a0According to the new information, more than 20 middle-aged cafeteria staff members were involved in this violation of principle for the more than seventeen vegans on\u00a0 According to the report, the disgruntled worker was motivated by a particularly rude student\u2019s passing remark of her being a \u201cbasic bitch.\u201d \u00a0The worker then assembled a task force of equally unhappy workers, and together they began to add small amounts of chicken extract to many of the vegan dishes served. \u00a0An unnamed member of the task force remarked \u201cIt was something to do, and it gave me great satisfaction to know that somewhere, a vegan was, in fact, consuming a small amount of meat It is unknown whether the university will be pursuing action against the staff members involved at this point. \u00a0According to one of the lawyers involved in considering the matter, the lawsuit \u201cis it risk of being thrown out immediately due to the difficulty involved in creating a respectable name for the suit.\u201d 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