Scientists around campus are\u00a0scrambling to try and solve a problem\u00a0that has haunted Cornell for\u00a0years. The mathematical concept\u00a0known as \u201cThe Ratio\u201d, the key for\u00a0freshman males getting into frat\u00a0parties, remains undefined. Researchers\u00a0swear they are inching\u00a0closer every day as they believe new\u00a0technology will allow them to make\u00a0progress undreamed of decades\u00a0ago.<\/p>\n
The Ratio, of course, is the\u00a0proportion of girls to guys in a pack\u00a0of freshman. The Ratio has long\u00a0been the most important aspect of\u00a0freshman society. The right Ratio\u00a0will lead to happy nights packed inside\u00a0of overcrowded annexes with\u00a0boundless amounts of Keystone\u00a0Light; the wrong Ratio will mean a\u00a0night of jacking off. Scientists are\u00a0searching to find a universal constant\u00a0for the Ratio that will guarantee\u00a0any freshman admission into\u00a0frat paradise. Till then, freshman\u00a0will continue to suffer.<\/p>\n
\u201cI just want to get laid,\u201d said\u00a0one frosh roaming the streets of\u00a0College Town. \u201cBut I can never get\u00a0into any parties. Frat bros always\u00a0laugh at my ratio.\u201d\u00a0A common misconception\u00a0is that a freshman guy can simply\u00a0go out with an immense number\u00a0of girls and be fine. But a guy\u00a0surrounded by too many girls may\u00a0come off as a stalker or a pansy.\u00a0And does a huge group of engineering\u00a0girls have the same weight as\u00a0a huge group of Alpha Phi girls?\u00a0What about Ithaca College girls, do they count? Depending on the frat,
\na guy may get sent packing even\u00a0with a 100 I.C. girls.<\/p>\n
Another problem in defining\u00a0the Ratio is that of the Antiratio.\u00a0This, of course, is when a guy manages\u00a0to get into a frat party without\u00a0having a higher number of girls\u00a0than guys in his pack. Athletes, legacies,\u00a0and that rich dude from Long\u00a0Island, generally don\u2019t need a great
\nratio to get into a party. This goes\u00a0directly against the Quantum Theory\u00a0of the Frat Bro, which speculates\u00a0that a good ratio is necessary for admission\u00a0into a frat party. This phenomenon\u00a0has puzzled scientists.\u00a0\u201cWe see it all the time- a\u00a0young man gets turned away with a\u00a02 to 1 ratio while the freshman quarterback\u00a0gets in with a 1 to 4,\u201d said a\u00a0researcher at Cornell\u2019s Institute for\u00a0Freshman Awareness (CIFA). \u201cIt\u2019s\u00a0not acceptable, and we won\u2019t stand\u00a0for this.\u201d<\/p>\n
Many factors must be taken\u00a0into scientists\u2019 calculations. The\u00a0hotness of the girls, the amount\u00a0of Vineyard Vines on the guy, and\u00a0countless other aspects are taken\u00a0into consideration. The amount\u00a0of data being collected is enough\u00a0to boggle even the most advanced\u00a0of super computers. Even then, researchers\u00a0are still confident that a\u00a0formula for the Ratio will be ready\u00a0within the next decade.\u00a0\u201cWe\u2019re working hard, and\u00a0we will get this done,\u201d said CIFA\u00a0president Keith Stone. \u201cIf I see another\u00a0freshman doing pushups for\u00a0admission into a frat house, I\u2019m\u00a0going to be sick. Everyone should\u00a0know exactly what ratio is needed\u00a0for entry. It\u2019s a basic human right.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Scientists around campus are\u00a0scrambling to try and solve a problem\u00a0that has haunted Cornell for\u00a0years. The mathematical concept\u00a0known as \u201cThe Ratio\u201d, the key for\u00a0freshman males getting into frat\u00a0parties, remains undefined. Researchers\u00a0swear they are inching\u00a0closer every day as they believe new\u00a0technology will allow them to make\u00a0progress undreamed of decades\u00a0ago. The Ratio, of course, is the\u00a0proportion of girls to guys in a pack\u00a0of freshman. The Ratio has long\u00a0been the most important aspect of\u00a0freshman society. The right Ratio\u00a0will lead to happy nights packed inside\u00a0of overcrowded annexes with\u00a0boundless amounts of Keystone\u00a0Light; the wrong Ratio will mean a\u00a0night of jacking off. Scientists are\u00a0searching to find a universal constant\u00a0for the Ratio that will guarantee\u00a0any freshman admission into\u00a0frat paradise. Till then, freshman\u00a0will continue to suffer. \u201cI just want to get laid,\u201d said\u00a0one frosh roaming the streets of\u00a0College Town. \u201cBut I can never get\u00a0into any parties. Frat bros always\u00a0laugh at my ratio.\u201d\u00a0A common misconception\u00a0is that a freshman guy can simply\u00a0go out with an immense number\u00a0of girls and be fine. But a guy\u00a0surrounded by too many girls may\u00a0come off as a stalker or a pansy.\u00a0And does a huge group of engineering\u00a0girls have the same weight as\u00a0a huge group of Alpha Phi girls?\u00a0What about Ithaca College girls, do they count? Depending on the frat, a guy may get sent packing even\u00a0with a 100 I.C. girls. Another problem in defining\u00a0the Ratio is that of the Antiratio.\u00a0This, of course, is when a guy manages\u00a0to get into a frat party without\u00a0having a higher number of girls\u00a0than guys in his pack. Athletes, legacies,\u00a0and that rich dude from Long\u00a0Island, generally don\u2019t need a great ratio to get into a party. This goes\u00a0directly against the Quantum Theory\u00a0of the Frat Bro, which speculates\u00a0that a good ratio is necessary for admission\u00a0into a frat party. This phenomenon\u00a0has puzzled scientists.\u00a0\u201cWe see it all the time- a\u00a0young man gets turned away with a\u00a02 to 1 ratio while the freshman quarterback\u00a0gets in with a 1 to 4,\u201d said a\u00a0researcher at Cornell\u2019s Institute for\u00a0Freshman Awareness (CIFA). \u201cIt\u2019s\u00a0not acceptable, and we won\u2019t stand\u00a0for this.\u201d Many factors must be taken\u00a0into scientists\u2019 calculations. The\u00a0hotness of the girls, the amount\u00a0of Vineyard Vines on the guy, and\u00a0countless other aspects are taken\u00a0into consideration. The amount\u00a0of data being collected is enough\u00a0to boggle even the most advanced\u00a0of super computers. Even then, researchers\u00a0are still confident that a\u00a0formula for the Ratio will be ready\u00a0within the next decade.\u00a0\u201cWe\u2019re working hard, and\u00a0we will get this done,\u201d said CIFA\u00a0president Keith Stone. \u201cIf I see another\u00a0freshman doing pushups for\u00a0admission into a frat house, I\u2019m\u00a0going to be sick. Everyone should\u00a0know exactly what ratio is needed\u00a0for entry. It\u2019s a basic human right.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":226,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_links_to":"","_links_to_target":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[22,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-194","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-content","category-fall-2014"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/194","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=194"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/194\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":195,"href":"http:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/194\/revisions\/195"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/226"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=194"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=194"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/cornelllunatic.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=194"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}